But I Remember…(Domestic Abuse)

But I remember…
“Quit your job!” You demanded, one breadwinner is all we need
Shocking, how from then on, your control over me grew in increasing speed

But I remember…
All it took was that one day when…, wait a minute, I can’t recall the beginning
I mean, one day, we started to argue, all of a sudden I saw your hands flying

But I remember…
Am I correct, or did it all begin with that time you called me out of my name
The questioning look of disgust displayed on my face sure did put you to shame

But I remember…
I decided to stay, ignoring all the red flags
You took that as a sign to start treating me like rags

But I remember…
You took away the sparkle in my eyes from joyful tears of laughter
Nowadays, my eyes remain red from the constant tears of anger

But I remember…
Sweet words used to escape those succulent lips
Lately, only harsh words flow out to match your aggressive fists

But I remember…
Morning, day, and night, you kept my mind stimulated
Now, with your constant put downs, all you do is get me frustrated

But I remember…
The strategic and fun mind games we played kept me on my toes
Somehow, your games turned deceitful, turning us into foes

But I remember…
My body, oh my body, used to come alive in your hands
Strangely, now I’m repulsed by the touch of your hands

But I remember…
A glass of fine red wine would give way to a good night sleep
The glasses and my resentment multiplied, as a bloody pool forms at my feet

But I remember…
Those hands were meant to provide protection
Instead, all they do is cause destruction

But I remember…
Silly me, I believed a change would come someday
“Sorry won’t cut it anymore”, I said, “it all stops today!”

But I remember…
Powerless, I used to be, why was I so afraid?

But, but, but…, but I finally stopped remembering…
Powerful, I have become, now that I’m in control of my life

STOP ALL
mental, physical, psychological, emotional, financial, sexual,
verbal and substance abuse in domestic partnerships
#mensufferstoo  #menremainssilent  #helpmenspeakout

Background story of how the poem came about:

This poem has been sitting around for two months because I couldn’t piece out all of my thoughts together. On 12/15/16, I attended a volunteer event at the Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty where a social worker talked intensively about domestic violence while showing a short clip of how violence starts and progress in a relationship. As I listened intently, I started to make mental notes of how I will use the information to add to my poem.

Funny story about my volunteer work is that out of 4 volunteer options, this location was third on my list. But, I had to switch my choice due to the cancellation of my first option. It all worked out in my favor and I arrived home early enough to actually complete the poem.

Moral of the story is, my volunteer service helped to fuel my creativity to finish the poem.

The universe has a funny way of communicating with me 😀